Thursday, September 25, 2008


Fishing for self aggrandizement is not an uncommon pastime; regularly I see people who must have spent at least fifty thousand dollars on there equipment, venture out to sea, catch a hand full of fish at best, then sit back and revel in the glory of what good fishermen they are. Now it's probably none of my business but let's take it apart for a change and realistically analyse the mentality.
Granted some people may have worked so hard in their life they feel justified in spending all that money, time and effort to molest sea creatures so let's leave them alone and focus on the variety who just inherited their wealth or maybe sold the family home in Sydney or Melbourne before high tailing it the Gold Coast. Here they are purchasing a fibreglass run about with an extremely overpowered Two-Stroke motor and they don't give two shits about all the toxic materials that went into the making of their purchase or the fact that if they actually want to use this thing, rather than park it at the back of their recently purchased canal front home, they are going to have to burn a lot of carbon. The oil that goes into the petrol of this planet f---ing machine spews directly into the very waters they have come here to enjoy and floats as a slick onto the sands that they will have to pump for their bait if they wish to be admired as true blue outdoors men. Although they will probably buy their bait from the commercial importers because all the locally available bait died ages ago from over zealous pumper's and the polluting oil from their engines.
After another stop at a retail outlet to buy some more toxic materials in the form of rods and reels, they get to donate stainless steel, lead and nylon to the already well stocked local supply laying at the bottom of our harbour before realizing there's no fish in the immediate vicinity. This however can be overcome with some long range tanks and a state of the art fish finder to get them to the last quarter of the worlds remaining stocks and before long they are landing the elusive creature they have gone to such extremes to haul from it watery home. Never the less they really should kiss it and let it go because if they take it all the way home without freezing it and finally cook and eat it, they will be lucky not to get sick from all the dioxins and mercury it probably contains.
If they overcome all the obstacles, bear all the expense, ignore all common sense and persist in becoming proficient at what they are doing, inevitably they could end up landing the big one. Sitting at home in their hunters den with the trophy fish mounted on a piece of wood or a framed picture of them holding up the savage beast next to the bigger new boat they had to buy, appropriately named Sally II, it will all seem worth the effort. They will be hooked for life, ready at a moments notice to sell you the line that Sally was the best investment they ever made or they could just do us all a favour and sink her.

No comments: